Tuesday 25 December 2007

#15 Organise the CDs of photos from my overseas trip

Status: Reminiscing

Just days before I leave Australia's fair shores once again, here's a little pictorial update for you. Enjoy a bunch of my favourite snaps from my travels over the past two years, complete with pretentiously-written captions in which I bang on about all the lovely places I visited.

A little flutterby I snapped in Singapore.

The stunning view from my window at sunset in Passau, Germany; note the frost hanging from the roof.

The view from my desk in London. Overlooking the River Thames, the amazing panoramic north-facing view ran from Battersea and Pimlico in the west...

...to Westminster and Waterloo in the east. I'll simply never work somewhere with the same view again.

Pink (London) Eye! Hahaha... ahhh...

A tranquil sunset over a bay in Oslo, Norway...

...while the city never stops.

England's stunningly peaceful Lake District (picture taken immediately before two fighter jets flew overhead).

The corridors surrounding the courtyard of the 16th century Spanish monastery in which I taught English for a week.

The phenomenal beaches of Cádiz: southern Spain's hidden gem.

Wind turbines in action in the Spanish hillside.

There is nothing on Earth like European art.

The sun sets over Berlin's Reichstag building, the original - and current - home of the German parliament.

Home to the largest number of species in the world (and the adorable Knut), here's just one of the creatures at the Zoologischer Garten Berlin.

Not my most masculine hour, but Prague's botanical gardens really are something...

...as are the city's sunsets, which are much more manly. Just think of the millions of tonnes of gases burning furiously and mercilessly above our meager planet. Sure sucked the romance out of that, didn't I?

Pigeons overlook Prague's Vltava river.

Row upon row of terraces growing grapes for wine production in Austria's beautiful Wachau valley.

A bizarre spectacle of a surfer tackling the waves in an artificial stream in landlocked Munich, a phenomenon caused by a pumping mechanism.

Original barbed wire from the truly frightening Dachau concentration camp.

Venice. Says it all.

The striking paintwork of the Venetian island of Burano.

The beautiful, yet imposing architecture of St Peter's Basilica in Vatican City.

Rome's Colosseum is arguably more impressive lit up at night.

Dusk atop the Leaning Tower of Pisa (photo corrected for tilt).

The gorgeous and rare (for us east coast Aussies) sight of the sun setting over the ocean, as witnessed by Jackie and I on a Vancouver beach.

This one was taken not by me (obviously), but by my friend, John, as we, er, trespassed to abseil down to touch the Hollywood sign in Los Angeles (not pictured: legal activity).

And finally... the single greatest image I took while on my trip. Allow me to set the scene. While holidaying in Cádiz, I decided to take a day trip to Gibraltar, that big ol' British rock that lies in the south of Spain. While there's not a great deal there, aside from lane after lane of tacky tourist traps, the highlight is taking the cable car to the top of the rock for a phenomenal view of the Spanish coastline and, on a clear day, Morocco. Despite this amazing panorama, this was the view that truly captivated me.

Yes, Gibraltar is also famed for its colony of tailless monkeys, around 230 of which hop around the rock's peak, harassing tourists, picking each other's nits and generally looking exceptionally cute or ugly depending on how young or old they are respectively. Oh, and they love carbonated beverages.

Monday 24 December 2007

#6 Go through paperwork from when I was overseas

Status: Done

No humorous anecdote here; this task was far too dull for that.

Sunday 23 December 2007

#37 Complete UK tax return

Status: Expecting a large windfall

Well, after much procrastination, it's sealed and I'm off to the post office. I just know I'll get it back because I forgot to declare that money I laundered or some other minor oversight, but for now, I'm calling this one complete.

Monday 17 December 2007

#10 Have my wisdom teeth removed

Status: Hideously disfigured

SURGEON: There is a one in 1000 chance that your nerves could be damaged during surgery, causing you to lose all feeling in your lower mouth.
MATT: Has that ever happened to anyone you've operated on?
SURGEON: No.
MATT: How many people have you operated on?
SURGEON: 999.
MATT: Oh.
Well, no, that conversation didn't happen (my surgeon was brilliant). Nor am I hideously disfigured. But it is true that I've had my wisdom teeth extracted.

Less than 24 hours ago, I had no idea I'd be whisked away to have this dreaded task fulfilled last night. After being forced to endure an entire episode of The Bold And The Beautiful in the waiting room, which was arguably more painful than the operation, I was injected with anesthetic, which I vainly tried to fight, and awoke seemingly seconds later sans my lower two wisdom teeth. It's a bit painful now, but I'm hoping this has put an end to the week from hell I've just had.

I do currently resemble Jack Pumpkinhead, from the 1985 quasi-sequel, Return To Oz, in that my face is now wider than it is long and has an odd yellow tinge to it (the green stem currently protruding from the top of my head was an unexpected complication).


Unfortunately, the Tooth Fairy failed to deliver the goldmine I expected for the removal of these two teeth. Bitch.

Wednesday 12 December 2007

#10 Visit the dentist

Status: Errr...

"Matt has the worst wisdom teeth I've seen in seven years!"
- Matt's dentist
If anyone is so financially inept as to ever make a movie about my life (preferably directed by Steven Spielberg, but not starring Tom Cruise), that's the quote I want slapped on the poster.

Best of all, it's true, it's intriguing and it gives some idea of the conflict presently in my life. Yes, those pesky wisdom teeth of mine, in all their stupidity, have decided to break through my gums at right angles so perfect you'd need a protractor to tell otherwise.

I'll spare you all the grisly details of what must happen next, but needless to say, it's going to be a more delicate, painful and presumably, costly procedure than most wisdom teeth extractions. What's more, the buggers have got to come out within the next six months or my head will explode (obviously I'm paraphrasing).

Accordingly, I'm renaming this task to "Have my wisdom teeth removed". Where's the sham now, huh?

Sunday 9 December 2007

#24 Buy seasons seven, eight, nine and ten of The Simpsons on DVD

Status: 10 + 1

Do I get extra points for this?

Saturday 8 December 2007

#55 Beat Craig at a "Best Of 9" game of pool

Status: Victorious

Pfft! This list was supposed to be a challenge! All I needed was just one attempt to thrash my brother at pool, after which he collapsed on the ground, defeated.*

Observe as I line up my triumphant final shot.

*This is a lie. It was actually rather close and he was gracious in defeat. Apologies if the body of this post was in any way misleading.