Status: Hideously disfigured
SURGEON: There is a one in 1000 chance that your nerves could be damaged during surgery, causing you to lose all feeling in your lower mouth.Well, no, that conversation didn't happen (my surgeon was brilliant). Nor am I hideously disfigured. But it is true that I've had my wisdom teeth extracted.
MATT: Has that ever happened to anyone you've operated on?
SURGEON: No.
MATT: How many people have you operated on?
SURGEON: 999.
MATT: Oh.
Less than 24 hours ago, I had no idea I'd be whisked away to have this dreaded task fulfilled last night. After being forced to endure an entire episode of The Bold And The Beautiful in the waiting room, which was arguably more painful than the operation, I was injected with anesthetic, which I vainly tried to fight, and awoke seemingly seconds later sans my lower two wisdom teeth. It's a bit painful now, but I'm hoping this has put an end to the week from hell I've just had.
I do currently resemble Jack Pumpkinhead, from the 1985 quasi-sequel, Return To Oz, in that my face is now wider than it is long and has an odd yellow tinge to it (the green stem currently protruding from the top of my head was an unexpected complication).
Unfortunately, the Tooth Fairy failed to deliver the goldmine I expected for the removal of these two teeth. Bitch.
I'm no longer worried.
ReplyDeleteIf you're well enough to be "funny", you're well enough to fly.
you move quick young man....how does this affect the trip?
ReplyDeletehope the recovery goes well!
X
i have that movie!!!!! so cool! I had a magner last night!
ReplyDeleteso i guess ur fine no problems at all :P 2 weeks and u'll be back to normal
glad all is well
only the best movie ever made!
ReplyDeletei'm so glad it's sorted....does this call for yummy chicken soup for dinner sat night?
you can still eat warm white chocolate brioche dumplings right???
love xxx
yay! im so glad its done, and now the question we all want answered . . . can you leave the country???
ReplyDeleteYes Matt, do tell.
ReplyDeleteBahaha... clearly this is where all the cool kids hang out. Good to see your tooth crisis is resolved, and even better to see a picture of Jack Pumpkinhead on your blog. I love that movie too.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you can still go bowling tonight... I'll now make some attempt at communicating with you other than via a blog comment. Good day, sir.
Right now, the right-hand side of my face is more swollen than my left, so I now resemble some sort of squash, rather than a pumpkin.
ReplyDeleteBut barring any unforeseen developments, I ought to be on an airplane this time next week! Woo!